sister.
it feels weird to write that
oddly cathartic
and to me
lethargic
in denial of the
in fear of the
the singular solitary truth but there
it is
i hate her
in my bones
to my bones
to the depths of me
i hate her
never knew hatred
not really
and i hate myself
for my hatred
for hating
her
but i do
for her selfishness
for her clue
lessness
for her
cruelty
for her lack of regard
for me
for
my daughter
my daughter
my daughter
i don't care
i never cared how
she was
she is
to me
but my duaghter
my daughter's safety
fuck her
fuck her
truly
deeply
fuck her
she fucking sucks
and i fucking hate her
burn her
purge her
from my life
from my soul
fuck her
i'll burn the world
burn the world for
my daughter
and her?
and she?
why is she
why is she
why is she so cruel to me
why could it never ever be
a friend she's not
could never be
for all she has
and all she'll be
is she
and so
perhaps i'm crippled
perhaps i'm frail
perhaps i've lapsed and
passed the pail
and in the moement
as i've failed
to be for her
for her to be
a sister, mister
travesty
but she has chosen now
has not chosen
me
and if she's chosen
let it be
by her choice only
let it be
it is not
is not
not with me
i see
i cannot force
cannot hope to make
her do
or true
-ly no mistake
so make it not
and watch it break
the fake re-
late -tionship that we've
staked
now on everything
every wake
-ening and
break -ening
off the breaks
i cannot be
will no longer fake
that fate
my plate
it bears
the tears
and errs
the scrapes
the scrapes
of waste
of long gone grate
the love
has gone
the love
abate
-ed. I stand here now
a mocking freight
i stand her now
scars marr my plate
i stand here now
and stand a -wait
i stand
can't stand
can't stand the weight
but
i stand here now.
i hate
i hate
