and don't know how to feel
I feel it here beneath my bones
but wondering was it real
I cannot think or scarcely breathe
To breathe that is to feel
the deathly dread beneath my skin
the sheets cannot reveal
A dread of bed whilst yet unwed
as do all daughters deal
there is a toxic yearning waste
a wasted wrathly peel
So still I sit and stir and steep
my steeping stir surreal
why alas the night does pass
in passing does conceal
where I've not dared to look, alas
so crass this heart of steel
should I not care or feel a brass
too fast; too fast I feel
I feel it here and everywhere
but closeness, no I don't
I don't know what to say or why
I stay so firm afloat
I feel perhaps a bit unclean
a wash resistant coat
but here I stand and do not glean
the richness as I gloat
I've don't the deed! I have been fucked!
To fuck so fucked again
I will be fucking now with those
those many steady men
for better or for worse, my heart
my heart is on the mend
but matters not what my heart's got
forgot not, it's pretend
remember now my reason why
my one all means' end
and so to fuck I'll fucking fly
the length my needs extend
I'd like to cum here, here and now
to cum here by his hand
to lust the very greed, I found
myself with empty gland
He's not fulfilled my need
so here I stand and grumbling grim
I wonder why I've done the deed
Why now? why this, why him?
Perhaps but for a fortune's creed
In climbing clitoral stim
I'll end this poem like his seed
My why was just a whim.
