Poison

Here is the reality about

That man

I could no sooner stop loving him than i could stop

Breathing.

I could hold my breath for a while, sure

Pretend there was no pain 

In my chest

Pretend the air wasnt

Leaving me

Drowning me

Pretend i would

Could

Live

Without him

Pretend.

For a while

I guess

But like it or not

Sooner or later

I come up for

Air

Because 

I must

Even as my lungs fill with poison

Poison Us even though it

May be

I do need to

Breathe 

And so 

My choices stand thus

Before me

As a man before his gallows

As a grimace before his

Grave

This

Is

What it is

Do i stay

under

Water

Pretend i am a fish 

Until the pain overcomes me and

Succumbing I 

Drown

Or

Do i dread the air

Above me

Hate the poison

Hate the pain and

Breathe it in my 

Veins or

Do i

Do i

Do i recognize it above me

Recognize my pain

Realize i cannot part with the poison

For the poison is mine

Mine 

I can

Learn to love the 

Poison

Love the parts of it that

Nourish me

Nourish my lungs my

Brain my

Me 

My

Being here 

No coincidence be so

I accept the poison

Above me

Accept it

Radically

And perhaps slowly

Slowly

No more poison

Shall it

Be

Perhaps 

Slowly slowly

I can learn to 

Let it be

And perhaps yet

Slowly slowly

No more poison.

Just him

And me.